1. What goes in dry and hard, but comes out wet and soft?
Chewing gum, you perv!
2. Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?
A ring! Get your mind out of the gutter!
3. What’s at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
A TOOTHBRUSH. COME ON.
4. You play with it at night before bed. You can’t be seen fiddling with it at work. You only let very, very special people touch it. What is it?
Your smart phone! DUH.
5. What’s long and hard and has cum in it?
A cuCUMber. Haha, got you.
6. What does every woman have that starts with a “V” and that she can use to get what she wants?
Her VOICE, you sexist asshole.
7. What goes up, lets out a load, and then goes back down?
An elevator. You’re a disgusting human being.
8. What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?
MONEY. Your mind is basically a citizen of the gutter.
9. What’s made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?
ERASERS. Safety first, kiddos!
10. People think these are better when they’re longer, but short ones can be really powerful, too, and there is totally such a thing as TOO long. What are they?
TWEETS. 140 characters is not enough to express how gross your imagination is.